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1.
This must be a robbery. Call Mephistopheles. General Mills is getting greedy, they got Mary Lou Retton selling Wheaties. Lebron sold me crypto, Oprah sold me a book. Pedophile sold me a footlong and a rapist sold me a pudding pop. John Stamos sold me a loaf of bread, Sam Jackson tried to sell me a credit card, Snoop Dogg sold me a Jumbo Jack, and Arnold sold me a humidor. I need an ashtray, get the facts straight, they got Tina Fey selling AllState. Don't wanna buy Colgate but Brooke Shields knows how to sell toothpaste. I'm going to hell. George Foreman sold me a grill. Travis Scott sold me a meal. Gimme fries and a Sprite it's a deal. Shaq sold me Icy Hot. Shaq sold me Papa Johns. Shaq sold me vodka. Shaq sold me Gold Bond. Notify the residents, Florence Henderson selling Wesson. Call the President Lincoln, Matthew McConaughey sold me a Lincoln. Devil's in the details, sign your name in blood. Reagan sold me cigarettes and Gorbachev sold me a Pizza Hut. Amy Schumer sold me a tampon. Martha Stewart sold me mascara. Elton John sold me some lipstick. Kristen Bell sold me antidepressants. Britney Spears and Beyonce and Madonna tried to sell me a Pepsi. Wilford Brimley sold me some oatmeal. Larry the Cable Guy tried to sell me a pill. Ryan Reynolds sold me a lotta things. John Maynard Keynes sold me an economy. Clooney might sell a cup of coffee, but Lee Harvey Oswald sold me a lobotomy. Jamie Lee Curtis sold me a yogurt. Ben Affleck sold me a donut. Sally Struthers sold me hungry children. Tony Robbins sold me how to make a million.
2.
Seems you never kiss me anymore, since the neighbors moved in next door. Seems you're always checking your phone, since the husband has been working from home. Hate to ask it, welcome basket, silly habits, there you have it. Seems we're never in the same room, when you're wearing your favorite perfume. Seems you're always shaving your legs, borrowing sugar and borrowing eggs. Hate to ask it, welcome basket, silly habits, there you have it.
3.
No Brains 02:30
Can't add, can't subtract, you got opinions, ain't got no facts, may have a gun, may have a truck, when it comes to knowing, no luck. Your mama, your papa, your sister, your brother, your daughter, your son, your wife, and your dog ain't got no brains.
4.
5.
Do you have a career? You better have a career! Do you have an agenda? You better not have an agenda! Did you get forty winks? Like stinks without forty winks! Did you bring a floaty to the pool? If you didn't you're gonna drown! You put on your favorite shoes! And look in your walk-in closet! Does it match the rest of your outfit? Guess what? Nothing matches! Nothing matches cause you're a clown!
6.
Worthless 04:01
Competition breeds option, competition sets the price right, phantom limb of market, drags it's nails down my spine, a spring of fresh water, is hidden for someone to find, the one who gets to there first, whets their thirst, leaves nothing for second, leaves nothing for third. What's the value of your body? What's the value of your mind? Don't you see they are worthless? Glory to those, the worthless undone, not hung by a bootstrap, not a fortunate son, not hamstrung by a heart, or the wealth they have won, he who consumes the most, feeds on the host of every worker, of every drone. What's the value of your body? What's the value of your mind? Don't you see they are worthless?
7.
I'll ride a comet made out of vomit. The dog said "arf", and then said "barf". I wanna blow up a pile of throw up, With a nuke made out of puke.
8.

about

Recorded on Yamaha MT4X Cassette Recorder. Philip Buckman uses Zoom Rhythmtrak 234, Roland VR-09, Fender Rhodes, Bass, Guitar, and a crappy Shure microphone.

Guest vocals by Gemma Buckman on "Consequences of the Gravitron".

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released December 9, 2023

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I Hate You When You're Pregnant Arizona

Photo Credit: Mihio Manus

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